I Need A Drink
by PinkCherry135
Summary: Canada's bachelor party... everyone is DRUNK... let the hilarity ensue! okay so it really isn't all that funny but i found that if i try to be funny i sound High. Rated T because of alcohol abuse. Now complete, unless anyone wants moar crack ! 3
1. Bachelor party?

**This is my first Hetalia FanFic I adore Hetalia so this is fun for me to write even though I don't really have an actual plot so yay!**

"He's not here?" America shouted (but isn't he always shouting?)

"Nowhere to be found." England replied

"He didn't come to his own Bachelor party?" France asked

"Does that mean the party is cancelled? aru" China asked face falling

"Heck no! I've been planning this party for a week!" America assured everyone heroically "the party will continue with or without Canada!"

the rest of the group cheered, Canada was thanking everyone for coming and trying to explain to America that he was indeed there.

"Hon, Hon ,Hon." France laughed as he turned up the radio blasting We r who we r

"WHOO! ke$ha!" America cheered! and the party ensued

the party had not gone on for very long when Russia ((Fangirls cheer)) came in with vodka and other various alcoholic drinks.

"Oh yeah!" Poland snatched some Vodka and the rest of the party followed. soon the majority of the party was drunk as a skunk! Among the people who weren't drunk and claimed to be the designated drivers were Switzerland Austria and England. There were two who werent legal to drink yet... Latvia and Sealand who hadn't really been invited because the party was supposed to be for countries only...

Switzerland, England and Austria were sitting in a corner watching the chaos.

"Why aren't you drinking England?" Austria asked politely

"Well I figured that I'd have to drive America and France home, since they wouldn't be able to." England explained

"I thought they were talking about staying the night here?" said Austria

"Oh, were they?" England asked

"Yes, actually America said they were, for the specific reason of letting you have a few, I mean how often can you drink as much as you want for free?" Switzerland said trying to include himself in the conversation

"Oh I don't really like anything they've got." Iggy scanned the room and caught sight of some Rum... "Actually I rather like rum... I think I will have a couple glasses."

And as we all know VERY well England cannot hold his Liqour...

Soon Switzerland and even Sweden and Finland who had just gotten there were getting drunk too Austria was the only one who wasn't drunk (Even Latvia and Sealand were getting drunk for the first time.) but he was sleeping so it wasn't like he was keeping the peace although I can't say that things would have been any less hectic if he was.

"WAAAHH!" China shouted swinging from the chandelier

America and France were singing along with ke$ha and dancing like they were drunk, which they were.

The only time Canada was noticed was when he was drunk stripping on his kitchen table.


	2. The Axis Arrive!

**No author's note this time whoohoo! oh wait... CRAP.**

Have you ever witnessed Pure Power? Seen Awesome spring from it's dormant rest? Felt unfiltered epicness seep into your veins? No?

...Then you have never seen Greece get drunk...

when Greece arrived the party was in full swing, (reference to China)

everyone who had been invited except for the Axis and Prussia were there and pretty much every one was super drunk. Somehow the alcohol just kept coming.

Greece quietly went over to the stereo and changed the song. He downed an entire bottle of Bud in one swig and practically blinded everyone with his coolness. Bet you didn't know that Greece could dance...well he can and it looks awesome. Greece and the Nordics were busting a move while Sealand and Latvia were trying to figure out why adults drink... all it did was make you want to throw up and give you a headache.

Canada had stripped as far as a rated T FanFic will allow. He had acumulated some cash stripping but was too drunk to think to pick it up. When he decided to surf the crowd, America thought to pick it up for him and put it in his pockets.

That's when the Axis arrived...

"Doitsu! Doitsu! let's get Drunk and take all our clothes off Ve!" Italy suggested

"Let's not." Germany Declined

"I'll see what I can do." Japan also declined who was then offered Sake and left

"Let me make this very clear...no alcohol for Italy." Germany said to the party

Italy frowned...

Soon Germany was pretty Hammered too!

Italy didn't really need Alcohol to match the crazy of the party.

Hey, did you know Japan can sing? Did you know he has an unhealthy obsession with Oppai? You do now...

At this time i would like to return to everyone's favorite Limey.

"WhUt?"

"Haven't you had a bit much?" I ask

"WhaT dOyOU knOw?"

"I know that 2 bottles of rum, 1/2 a bottle of whiskey and six glasses of Scotch is a tad too much.(at least for you.)" I explained

"WHat iS ThAt SPosssed Ta MeANN?"

"Let's see Big Ben!"I exclaim

"WhUt?"

"You Limeys never listen..." I say shaking my head

"I THink I'M GonNA bE siiCKkK!"

"no you aren't." I tell him

"YOu dOn'T KNoW MeH! YOUdOn'T KnOWW nOTHin' aBOuT mEH! i'M dA UNitED bLOOdY kINgOM aND Ai kHaN hILd mY loQUER bETTaR tHAaNn YOu aNy dAyYYyY!"

"Whatever you say Iggy..." Keep in mind that the rest of the party cannot hear or see me so it looks alot like Iggy has completly lost it.

"Hey England who're you talking to?" Japan asked fearfully

"i'M nOt cRAZy!" he replied

At this point I'm laughing hysterically and Flopsy the flying mint bunny, is comforting poor England.

Russia is sitting happily on Canada's couch watching the chaos he created.

"Everyone! Shutup! The hero has an announcement!" America delcared "I got a Present for my Baby brother... It's not a Bachelor party without Strippers!

While the group was cheering... France was dragging the Passed out England to a Closet... shhhhh.


	3. strippers equal disaster

"Strippers?" drunken Canada asked the word slurringly.

"YUP!" America Grinned widely "They're on their way!"

the wait was short.

"DING-DONG" Canada's doorbell rang America opened it hurriedly, five scantily clad women came in.

One with shoulder-length blonde hair, and a green head band... Belgium.

one with long light brown hair and bright green eyes...Hungary.

one with russias haircut/color and remarkably LARGE breasts... Ukraine

one with light blonde hair and Violet-blue eyes...Belarus

the last one was shorter then the rest and was quite flat-chested she had short-ish blonde hair with a dark blue ribbon in it...

"Liechtenstein!" Switzerland practically died right there

"Hi brother!" she waved to him and flashed him a blissfully ignorant smile

"W-Wh-what are d-doing here!" he stuttered

"I came with Miss Belarus! She said I'd get to see you... but you don't seem happy to see me?"

"This is worse than when you cut your hair!" he frowned at her "I can't even begin to comprehend what you were thinking!"

"I-I I'm Sorry, brother, I'm sorry."she said then buried her face into his chest and begun bawling. Swiss, angry at her and himself for yelling at her, patted her head and told her to stop crying mostly out of embarrassment, he then ushered her out the door, redfaced.

Austria, who had awoken at the sound of America's announcements was also redfaced as scantily clad stripper Hungary was on top of him.

Ukraine let her sister lead her over to see Russia who had been happy to see her, and momentariliy she had been happy to see him too, then she remembered what her boss had told her and she collapsed onto her knees crying hysterically "I'm sorry Russia I cant speak with you! At least not until I pay you back!" Belarus took the oppurtunity of Russia being distracted for the moment to jump on his back and shout "MARRY ME MARRY ME MARRY ME!" at the top of her lungs.

Belgium stood in amazement, so much chaos...

"OKAY, I DIDN'T KNOW I ORDERED STRIPPERS FROM THE **PSYCH WARD**!" America shouted over the chaos "GET OUT ALL YOU CRAZY CHICKS!" he pointed to the door. Belgium left hurriedly, Ukraine and Hungary followed suit, the real difficulty was Belarus.

"Make me leave you, American Pig!" she said threateningly to him

He made a little Hmph and smirked back at her, a few of the other party people stood behind him and mimicked his smirk. She tried to cling to Russia but he was gone, hiding somewhere. America and his Posse picked her up, and tossed her out side. They had to slam the door quickly before she regained her composure, they shut and locked the door she came up and scratched at it when she tried to knock the door-handle off all that was heard was a loud thud and a Russian swear.

"What is that door made of?" Russia asked Canada

"Steel...To keep out Cuba..."

"I am getting doors like that installed in my house... tomorrow" russia said a small smile on his face the rest of the party snickered.

**thats all folks. sorry my sister is rushing me ugh little sistersss don't you just love 'em... **


	4. Prussias drinking contest!

"Italy... you are se dumbest, se most retarded, se most brain dead person I know... Why am I so in love wis you?" Germany asked the ceiling, not knowing that Italy was two feet behind him.

"You, you do?" Italy had a happy blush, "I love you too!" Italy finally confessed what was so obvious to the fangirls, but Germany was passed out by this time so Italy just fell asleep next to him

Romano crouched behind a conveniently placed potted plant, and examined the scene before his eyes his stupid twin brother and Germany, granted the fangirls think its freaking adorable... Romano wasn't sure how he felt. If he were to accept this relationship... could Ita accept his relationship with Spain? Of course, that was far too serious and straight thinking for someone as drunk as Romano who was probably thinking more along the lines of "I wonder if that potato lover is as good in bed as Spain... nah that isn't possible." he then passed out too, his face landing in the dirt, when Spain spotted this he fell to the floor in a fit of hysteric giggles. When he was finished he littered the floor with another passed out country.

are you wondering who is the best at holding their liqour?

Lets keep score!

Passed out | Still Drinking  
>England ~ America<br>France ~ Russia  
>Canada ~ Turkey<br>China ~ Japan  
>Germany ~ Korea<br>Italy(kinda)~Lithuania  
>Spain ~ Estonia<br>Romano ~ Greece  
>Norway<br>Sweden  
>Finland<br>Iceland  
>Poland<p>

(Austria is there and consious but isn't drinking.)

That is when PRUSSIA arrived he was not late... everyone else was just early... because the party didn't start until he got there! (according to him.)

"Wow! you guys are still standing?" he said to the countries on the still drinking side "I see my brother passed out... He could never hold his liquor like me..." Prussia said kicking Germany's sleeping body. "I brought a present, for the lucky bachelor." he dropped a book on Passed out Canada's head Everyone stared at Prussia stepping over Passed out countries, "I thought this would be a dry party, so I Had a little before I came over here, I hope you don't mind."

America laughed " Well then here you go!" and handed Prussia a glass of beer

"Actually, I have my own," he whipped out his Prussian beer He took a sip," you want some?" and handed America a shot glass and poured some of his Prussian beer into it,

America gulped it down "Whoa! that is some good strong stuff! I might go so far as to say this is AWESOME!"

"It IS!" Prussia Said in response. "Let's have a drinking contest! I Brought plenty!"

**the room silences and all you hear is that noise trucks make when they back up**

The other countries nodded their heads in agreement. Soon everyone was sitting at Canada's table with shot glasses in front of them.

Prussia handed Austria a bottle of his Prussian beer, " Do. Not. Drop. It." He said firmly to the frugal country, "It's Expensive...(at least to you it is) Just keep the glasses full. "

Austria agreed he was looking forward to watching Prussia pass out.

and the drinking contest commenced!

"Liet...how do you expect to stand a chance against me?" America asked

"Mr. America... I am actually a very good drinker."

"How so?"

"Well, after Russia goes to bed, and Latvia is asleep, Estonia and I can get pretty hammered, I guess you could say it's how we cope." Lithuania retorted

America shut up and downed his Prussian beer

Lithuania followed suit

Turkey and greece were on the verge of alchohol poisoning because they were trying to beat each other but they pretty much tied since they both threw up at the same time and passed out nanoseconds apart.

Japan and Korea were singing together and downing the Prussian brew before they too passed out.

eventually It was only America, Russia and Prussia still drinking

America could hardly keep his eyes open but he continued to drink.

Prussia was dizzy but he continued to drink.

There didn't seem to be much wrong wth Russia he was flushed and would bust out laughing randomly, but he continued to drink...

**BAM!** That was the sound of America's head hitting the table.

**CRASH!** That was the sound of Prussia hitting the ground.

"~hu~hu~hu~" belive it or not that is the sound of Russia... giggling

"I guess you win Russia." Austria said tiredly for it was about 3 in the morning "the bottle is still half-full." Austria said before taking a swig.

**HEE I'm sooo glad someone is actually reading this I'm having alot of fun Writing it... next chapter may take a while as I'm kinda busy but it should be the morning after LOL thanks ^~^ you guys are Prussian!**


	5. Asprin And Canadas Fiance?

"ASPRIN!" America screamed he was the first awake and went looking through Canada's cabinets to find, well... Asprin. "CANADA!"

Canada stirred, "Nnh What? what does your stupid head want?"

"ASPRIN!"

"HOLY CRAP! YOU DONT HAVE TO SCREAM IT LIKE THAT!" Canada shouted back he got up and began walking to his kitchen cabinets when he realized he was naked except for his Maple Leaf undies "Ah! W-Why am I naked!"

"You got drunk, and stripped...Where's the Asprin?"

"I-I stripped?" His face turned bright crimson

"Yeah, you were a better stripper than the ones I bought." America pouted "Now can we find the Asprin?"

"Um, okay," Canada pointed to the cabinet above the microwave. America reached up and opened it to find the whole cabinet full of pain relievers.

"Why do you have so much?" America asked as he picked out a few for himself

"Well between being sat on by Russia... Beaten half to death by Cuba... and YOU throwing Baseballs at me... I use alot of Pain relievers.

" OoOh, Okay." America said before he Popped some pills.

"You guys can let yourself out..." Canada said as he shuffled off to his room.

At this time a few of the other countries were awakening.

"Get offa Me you Bloody GIT!" England said as he shoved France off of the top of him, and sat up "...Why are we in a closet?"

"Mmmh" France sighed

"Oh, Oh, Oh No. No!"

"Oui," France rubbed his eyes and sat up too.

"I need to leave!" Iggy said as he got up and ran out of the closet. France followed tiredly.

The other countries were getting ready to leave, you know, finding their clothes and other belongings, Taking some Asprin and finding their friends in the pile of sleeping Countries.

Sweden, Finland, and the other Nordics were about to Go home,

"Wait!" Russia shouted just before they opened the door "Check to make sure Belarus, Isn't out there."

Finland stood on his tiptoes and looked out the Peep-hole, "Yeah, she is still out there!" he said "But she is sleeping,"

"Oh, Okay, we can leave, but Quietly..." Russia, Greece and the Nordics Tiptoed out the door and past Belarus.

She stirred "Big Brother... Marry me..." she said as she started to wake up. Russia screamed tears in his eyes and Zoomed off at super human speed she followed him leaving the others coughing on her cloud of dust.

Nobody seemed to care about Russia, and went on their way home.

After a while everyone but France, England and America went home, Canada was finding it diffucult to sleep, his family was entreating entrance to his bedroom, like he'd let them in.

"Canada! Let Us In!" America shouted at the door.

"Mon Cher! We want to give you Pearls of Wisdom!" France shouted

"That's right Mattie! Married Life is not all It's cracked up to be!" England Said glancing pointedly at France

"You guys are giving me a headache! I don't need your advice,"Canada opened the door. "Look at the dysfunction of this family... I doubt your advice will be of any help. Mom, Dad you guys got a divorce like forever ago, but you guys still love eachother either get back together, or get over eachother! America, You've been Cheating on your wife, since a week after the two of you got Married, Yeah... Your advice will be **_so_** helpful. The Members of Canada's family looked at eachother embarassedly.

"America, you've been cheating on Liberty?" England Asked angrily and Surprisedly.

"N-No!" America said High-pitched and embarassed "How, do you even know that!" He directed at Canada

"I've got my sources." Canada said smugly. "You guys are not good at relationships, go home and leave me be." Canada said and pointed in the general direction of his door.

The dysfuntional family walked in the direction he pointed, both England and France smacking America's head, "How could you cheat on a Jewel like Liberty? She Really loves you! You Bloody Idiot!" England said repeatedly whacking his son.

"Liberty was the best thing that ever happened to you! Je lui montrerai comme ce qu'est un vrai homme! Hon~hon~hon~! I loved her! Elle était magnifique!" France shouted at America

"Lots of guys wanted and still want her! She chose you!" another whack

"Mon Dieu elle vous aime!" France said unhappily even though niether England or America knew what he was saying America understood that they were upset.

"I'm sorry! It won't happen anymore I love her too!"

"Darn right!" Iggy shouted as he started shoving his son out the door.

"Fichue droite!" France mirrored his Wife.

Canada snickered to himself, and the problem he had created.

"You got them to leave?" a voice from inside the room said

"Yes, Kuma, I got them to leave."He turned around and picked up his polar bear

"Who're you again?" Kumajiro asked

"I'm Canada, your fiance, Kumajira."

**When I write crack... I write CRACK! huh? this whole story is what i do with my time... when i could be studying or something... Author needs Life but can't be bothered ^3^**


	6. The wedding Part 1 The Ceremony

**Hello again some of you are probably going "I thought the crazy girl said she was done..." Well I was but I Have TOO much fun writing this And A few really sweet people Say they want more crack! So I don't know how far you can go without a plot but here we go... Please lower the bar Secure all accessories and keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times (if you dont they'll get cut off and you'll Die.) Thank you! and enjoy the ride.**

"Godamnit!"Canada said he was about ready to start swearing in french, Why was it sticking up Now, of all times! Big and totally out there! He couldn't hide it! he had been trying to get rid of it all day! he was about ready to cut it off, but he was quite fond of it and so was Kujamiro... But it was so sloppy oh god Why was it so obvious! Wait, what do you think I'm talking about?... OHMYGAWSH! No! His Curl! I-I Meant his Curl! I dont have a sick mind, I dont, Really!

"Oh Dont worry about it, It looks fine, the Ladies like it and it looks good on you, not as good as mine,but whatever" America tried to comfort his brother flashing him a big smile and flexing his Curl, Cause he's cool like that.

"Okay," Canada calmed down

"Yeah you finish making yourself look pretty, The wedding is in Twenty Minutes." America said shutting the door behind him. Canada was thankful for the silence. His Bachelor party had been two days ago and he was still paying repair-men to fix his Chandelier (Stupid China). this was probably the first silence he'd had in a long time.

Wait

Oh God

Twenty minutes!

Canada stopped worrying about his Curl and began worrying about the straightness of his tie and whether or not he could remember his vows, wait, Could he? He was a nevous wreck.

Believe it or not, twenty minutes Later he was standing next to his conceited brother His parents Smiling at him encouragingly. Then Austria started playing the wedding march and the Audience stood up, Canada was not used to having a crowd of people Give a Flying fig about his life, in fact he wasn't really used to having even one person give a crap about his life.

Kumajyrate Came in being carried by Hungary, Kukanira looked really adorable in that Little white dress.

"WAIT!" America shouted The music halted and Hungary stopped dead in her tracks,

"He's marrying a POLAR BEAR! They're an Endangered Species! Is This Wedding even Legal!" He ranted "Is there Even a Church Dude?"

Italy stepped forward, "I'm-a Church-a dude-a!"

"There's a word for this! It's Beastiality! Italy! You're smart-ish, Is this freaking legal?"

"Yes-a It's-a legal." Italy Said his 'It's-a Legal' souding just a little bit like 'It's Illegal'.

"See? This is Illegal! God is not cool with this! Italy Said so and he's cool with God so we know he isn't lying!"

"No-a, I-a said-a It's-a Legal!"

"Yeah I know! I knew it was Illegal In America, But you know this is Canada so I wasn't sure."

"No-a it-a is-a legal!"

"Why do you keep saying it like I'm deaf or something? I get it, it's Illegal!"

"No-a I-a Mean-a Its-a Legal! It's-a Not-a Illegal"

"Wait, you mean, Its Legal And I couldn't understand you cause you don't speak proper American?"

"Well-a American Is-a Not-a My-a First-a Language."

"Italy, I said you needed to learn not to speak wis A's at the end of your vwords and sis is vwhy" Germany said

"Oh, You dont have any room to talk, Your accent is 'vworse'" America Said Rudely

Suddenly England and Liberty Had America by the ears and France placed a large peice of Duct tape over his mouth.

"You are ruining your brother's day! England said giving his right ear a hard yank

"Your brother didn't try to ruin your day!" Liberty Yanked his Left

"Ceci est censé être un jour heureux!" France shouted

They forced him to sit down and made sure to keep him quiet

"Please Continue with the ceremony, I'm so Sorry for my son." England apoligized

"Oui, I, too am Sorry" France said

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~AFTER THE CEREMONY~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"OKAY! I Have A speech for my brother and his Uh... Bear?" America Said there was a red rectangle around his mouth, and his ears were bright crimson. Nobody really protested so he continued "First off, Canada, Good Luck, you'll need it. Second, this wedding has proved to me that I am truly the only normal one in my family, I Married A woman," A quick glange in his parents direction " And I'm Not A Zoophiliac," Another Quick Glance this time at Canada, "And I believe It's custom in my country, to say something Embarrassing about the Groom at this Time So Let me Just say that when Canada was fifteen-"

England grabbed his mouth, "I think everyone has heard quite enough out of you." Another peice of tape and more ear yanking,

Kumajiro looked at Canada, "You're Canada right?"

Canada sighed "Yes, Kumajama, Thats Me."

"What happened when you were fifteen?"

"Stuff, Stupid Teenager stuff."

"Oh, When we get home will you make me Pancakes?"

"Yeah sure!"

"With, LOTS of Syrup?"

"Of Course,"Canada snuggled his New wife. "As much syrup as you want."

"Okay, who're you again?"

"I'm the Guy who's Going to make you Pancakes whenever you want, with as much syrup as you want, you can call me Canada."

"Okay... I like you, Canada."

He Smiled and blushed "Th-thank you."

**Oh Hi, didn't see you there, how was the ride? There is a nifty little button down there that tells me what you're thinking... check it out! CanadaXKumajiro... Its your new OTP. Okay I was stoked to keep going with this! so I had fun. Ideas anyone? I'm open to them and I'll give credit where credit is due. I'm a little busy too so remember that. Ps. Written between 12:45 And 2 Am so if there are grammar errors I sincerely Apologize! ^3^ Stay Prussian!**


	7. The wedding Part 2 The Reception

The red rectangle around America's mouth had gotten slightly redder, as he ripped the duct tape off of his face to scream at Canada snuggling his polar bear 'wife' "THAT! That just is NOT normal!"

France picked him up, "If you Say one more word about your brother and His Polar bear, I'll Rip Florida off." America said not one more negative word for the rest of the wedding.

The wedding was quiet and normal... but we all know that in a story written by me it isn't going to stay like that long.

Everyone was dancing slowly and quietly and normally, While Austria played something from Chopin,

"ALRIGHT! I'm Bored!" Prussia said just before he began shoving Austria and his piano out of the way and went to get his DJ turntable yes, Prussia can do that.

"WOOT! WOOT!" Prussia cheered, the rest of the party joined him and somehow Canada's normal happy wedding, turned into a rave with a prussian DJ and Lights that just kind of appeared there.

"Uh Prussia What are you doing?" Canada stomped up to the self-proclaimed DJ in what he thought was an angry way.

"Hey, Curlyque! Congratulations!" Prussia said before changing songs

"Prussia! What do you sink you're doing?" Germany asked

"Oh. Hey west, what's up?" Prussia said with a face he hoped looked innocent

"You can't have a party like sis... Wisout Beer!" Germany said Pulling Bottles from behind his back

"Oh, No." Canada said before turning on his heel and rushing away he might be able to get away before someone got hurt.

"Where do you think you're going, Curlyque!" Prussia said before he threw a bottle at the back of Canada's head, It exploded and Canada fell to the ground a large bump starting to become evident.

Kumajiro walked over to passed out Canada and sat next to him, poking him in the head "Hey, get up, I want to go home, I want pancakes!"

"Mghgfah" Canada said blinking a few times, "OkAy LeT's gO ThEn." he bumbled to his feet and started walking in the direction of the door.

At this point in time Prussia and Germany were offering bottles to the other guests, and drinking themselve into a stupor.

England was trying for some better self control this time... but, that would be boring.

"Hey, Everyone come listen to Greece, he's saying some really smart things!" Japan shouted

"Do not be like fire, Fire destroys to stay alive... be like a Kitty Content and fluffy!" Greece said Philosophically

"SHARE YOUR WISDOM OH GREAT ONE!" Japan said

"Be like a Kitty, Sleepy and Lazy, by day, Quick and cunning, by night!" Greece continued, Encouraged by Japans words

"YES!" Japan Said jumping up and down like a fangirl

"Is... Everything he says about cats...? aru" China asked

"DO NOT QUESTION THE GENIOUS!" Japan said at China

On the other side of the room...

"Ita?"

"Yes-a Doitsu?"

"Who was your first Love?"

"Uh... Holy Roman Empire-a!"

Prussia overheard this conversation and blanched Germany wasn't supposed to know about that!

"HEY! whatcha guys talkin' 'bout?" He asked

"Sats Funny, I've never heard of sat country before..." he ignored Prussia

"Oh-a He-a Went-a to-a war but-a he-a never came back. But-a he-a looked-a strangely like-a you!" Italy said opening his eyes as he did so rarely.

"Someone looks like West? I'm not suprised he has a very generic look totally not awesome at all!"

"No-a, Its-a uncanny how-a similar the two-a look!" Italy said aquinting at Germany "And not-a long-a after Holy Rome-a went-a to war-a Prussia Anounced that-a Doitsu was a new-a country!"

"Well It's not like I beat the little runt so hard he got amnesia so I told him he was my little brother, Germany that's not what I did at all! Heh, heh, Beer?" he looked so guilty I would've blamed him for global warming...

"Okay." the German and the Italian said at the same time

"HEY LOOK THE LIMEY IS DRUNK AGAIN!" America said before running over to where England was slumped over on the ground. "HEY MOM!"

"i'M nAWt yUr mUMmY yOU dONt eVEn rING mEH oN mY bRItHdAy!"

"That's custom in my country and you'll always be my my mom I just don't hafta Listen to to you anymore!" America said he almost sounded sweet.

" i sUPoSse THAt'S tRUe..."

"Yup, and you should be proud! Most of your kids Grew up to be storng, Indedpendant countries..."

"wHIch oNEs diDN't?"

"Canada, You should be ashamed of him... he married a polar bear. I am ashamed of him."

"WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SAYING ANYTHING ABOUT HIS POLAR BEAR!" France said from accross the room

"OH S***T!" America said before breaking into a heroic run.

That looks like this...

Run, Run, runrunrunrunrunrun TRIP get up Run run run run TRIP start crying because you scraped your knee get up and run run run right into a pillar and fall to the ground unconsious.

"frANCE yOU aREN'T gOnNA rIP iT oFf NOw aRe yU?"

"I guess not."

**Well thats all for now, I bumped the power cord with my arm and two hours of writing went poof! mini family Crisis You rock Bye!**


	8. Honeymoon?

**Hello all you Peeps that make the great prussia jealous... you have been waiting a while, well I have been fangirling over Vic Mignogna at PCC (super fun BTW) so This fic was not really at the front of my mind. Sorry! any way I am not sure how to write this chapter but here goes! It is also kind of strange to try and write honeymoon material for one... and between a country and his polar bear?... needless to say this was not as easy as my pure crack and drunk nations stuff.**

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~honeymoon~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

The door handle beeped as Canada swept his key over it.

Kumajiro watched him with an uninterested face, "Hurry up, The sooner we get in the sooner I can take a nap."

Canada held the door open with his backside... I could say a few things about Canada's Backside but, he is married now, *sigh* why did I do that?

"Kumajuro, You can take a nap if you want to but I thought we could do somthing a little more... Fun? Eh?" Canada said before letting the door to the suite shut with a bang,

"Yeah, Yeah, pancake guy... I'm Jetlagged. And I'm, thirsty."

Canada proceded to unzip bags and pull peices of clothing out "Just remember the drinks in the minibar cost extra and I'm not made of money." he said endearingly maybe he was getting a tad ahead of himself, they would both be tired and they had the entire four days to spend to do _fun_ things! ;)

It was about midnight when it happened, Canada was sleeping soundly and Kumajiro was sleeping just as soundly snuggled next to him, when Canada was Yanked from his sleep by his immature brother shaking his shoulder.

"Canada! Surprise!"America said in what he considered a whisper

"W-what the salsa flavored crack are you doing here!" Canada asked rubbing his eyes sleepily

"I totally thought that this whole honeymoon bullcrap would be WAY more fun with all your closest friends here!"

"Hot Balls! America... Are you intent on ruining my _entire_ married life?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... You turn my bachelor party into a prussian drinking contest then you are totally rude during my wedding... And now you are here! Kumashiro and I are supposed to be enjoying this weekend ALONE!"

"Oh C'mon, you didn't think I would really Mess up your honeymoon? I have Hawaii... I understand how important Honeymoons are to newlywed couples! I Mean It's not like I'm gonna be in the same room as you guys... I ain't that heartless!"

Canada sighed a long sigh of relief

"I Rented the room next to ya!"

Canada **hated **his brother with the burning intensity of a thousand desert suns...

"Don't worry Mattieu!"

"Yeah we'll make sure the Git doesn't bother you too much!"

His Parents? Why did these things always happen to him? Why? If he thought his brother was bad... his parents were worse...

"Aww You and your polar bear look super cute! Aru."

Canada just groaned, then other nations piped up and congratulated him.

At this point Kumajiro woke up from the noise and sat on Canada's lap with a grumpy face.

"Could you guys please just leave?" Canada said but none of the other nations heard him,

"HEY, ALL YOU PERVERTS! GET OUTTA HERE!" Kumajiro shouted angrily "This is our honeymoon... And you are ruining it for both of us!"

"Kujamiro, I am so sorry, you go back to sleep, I'll get them to leave." he leaned down and kissed the bears head who scowled and then laid down to sleep,

"AWW!" about half the world map said as the polar bear shut it's eyes.

"GET THE F**** OUTTA HERE! GO HOME! I WAS HAVING A PERFECTLY GOOD TIME BERFORE ALL YOU WEIRDOS GOT HERE! NOW LEAVE BEFORE I DROWN YOU IN MAPLE SYRUP!"

"Wow Canada I didn't know you felt that way." America said as his entire frame seemed to slump "We'll leave, I apoligize..."

The next morning all the other nations left Canada and Kumjiro in peace, they watched the rest of the countries board the plane and leave.

Canada turned to his bear wife, "Now where were we?"

Kumajiro looked at Canada with a Sultry expression, " I think we were at the part where you make me... ... ... ... some pancakes."

Canada chuckled "How many?"

Kumajiro kissed Canada's nose 3 times "That many."

Canada blushed and proceded to make his 'wife' 3 pancakes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The End~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Hey ya'll umm I am lame and can't think of any more good or funny Idea's so I have decided to let this story from now on be your story if anyone has an Idea about CanadaXKumajira or pretty much anything involving alchohol the basic story format will be chapters of oneshots or anything to add on to this... you can see that I went from crack to cute... anywho It is now your story! send All Ideas in And I Will Write them!**

**My mom Came in my room this morning to wake me up she threw my stuffed Pikachu At me and said do something useful with your summer start a project or something to occupy your time! I decided that my project was to make everyone who reads my stories giggle.**


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